Frank Zappa You Can't Do That On Stage

1.Approximate

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Tom fowler (bass)
Chester thompson (drums)

One two, one two three four

Alright, that's the melody
Now, here it is with the mouth,
As performed at eva's wedding

Come on ruth, come on
Ah, come on ruth, sing along
Come on ruth, harmonize with him
A-ren-ne-henna

Okay,
Achtung!
One two, one two three four
...are wondering about
It's a hit!
Chester!
...shoe
Chester
Suzy
Quattro
Funky
Take the towels
We want you to take them to your country
No, don't pay us for the towels
We insist
Towels
Suitcase
Get it through customs

And now, here is way number three：
With the feet!

Hey!
It's so modern

Can't have any of that

Later on we'll have a dance-contest
And some lucky member of the audience
Will win a quart of finnish champagne!

That's a good...
That's a good...
Just wanna see how long...
Right! okay

Alright, now here it is, all the way through
It's so exhilarating

Eric dolphy memorial barbecue!

Hey! that's a good idea, isn't it

Thank you!

Thank you very much
Thank you, and thank you
And thank you some more
And thank you very much
And thank you
And thank you
Giddis, thank you, thank you...


2.Are You Upset？

Frank zappa (vocals)
Lowell george (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

Pooweee

Somebody in the audience：
Stop that. . .

Heavy business, man

Fz：
Are you upset？ say it again？

Somebody in the audience：
Fuck you . . .

Fz：
What？

Audience：
Fuck you!

Fz：
I'm fucked？ that's the nicest thing anybody's said to me all day
. . . .


3.Brown Moses

Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve vai (guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Chuck wild (piano)
Arthur barrow (bass)
Scott thunes (bass)
Jay anderson (string bass)
Ed mann (percussion)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Ike willis (vocals)
Terry bozzio (vocals)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (vocals)
Bob harris (vocals)
Johnny 'guitar' watson (vocals)

Brown moses： (singing)
Oh-oh! wait a minute!
What？

What wickedness id dis？
De way you's carryin' on!
Dis pygmy i be clutchin'
Have been lef' out on de lawn!

De daddy were ne-glij-ible,
De mama were de-flate-able,
De trauma to de imfunt
Be mostly not ne-gate-able

Yo' urgin' to be exitin'
Because of dem fla-min-i-go's
Be thoroughly perplexin' him
Because of where yo' petuh goes

If only you been 'siderate
Erbout dis lil' illiterate
I wouldna been trudgin' cross de san'
Fum way down yonder in e-gyp-lan'

Dey callin' me brown moses,
Fo' dat id sho'ly what i am,
Ancient an' re-lij-er-mus
Solemn an' pres-tig-i-mus
Wisdom reekin' outa me
'long wif summa dis baby pee
'minds me of dem river weeds
'n all dem ignint bible deeds

Growed up in de pharaoh place,
Lef' de sucker in disgrace!
Some dem boys refuse to loin
Somthin' smokin'： somthin' boin!

Somethin' borry： somethin' blue!
Best keeps a lil' paper
In yo shoe!
Hear me when i's tellin' you：
Leavin' de midgit were
Wrong t'do!

It's a terr'ble thang, done did to him
Left wit de crab-grass
Over his chin!
Sho'ly one day he will grow,
'n put some shit
In yo' sack o' woe

Ol' brown moses now have spoke!
Could ya lends me 'bout a dollar？
I's a tiny bit broke

I likes my wine
I loves my gin
'n fo a lil' collateral,
I'll gives ya him!
A lil' collateral,
I'll gives ya him!
A lil' collateral,
I'll gives ya him!
I said a lil' collateral,
A lil' collateral,
A lil' collateral,
A lil' collateral,
A lil' collateral,
I'll gives ya him!
I'll gives ya him!


4.Carolina Hard-core Ecstasy

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

I coulda swore her hair was made of rayon
She wore a milton bradley crayon
But she was something i could lay on,
Can't remember what became of me
Carolina hardcore ecstasy

She put a doobie brothers tape on
Ooh, ooh, ooh listen to the music
I had a roger daltrey cape on oo-wee-oo
A roger daltrey cape on, ooh ooh
There was a bed i dumped her shape on
Can't remember what became of me . . .
Carolina hardcore ecstasy

Somewhat later on i woke up and she was gone
There was dew out on the lawn in the sunrise
Later she came back with a rumpled paper sack
Which she told me would contain a surprise
She stuck her hand right in it to the bottom
Said she knew id be surprised she got em
Take a charleston . . . pip . . . to spot em
Then she gave a pair of shoes to me . . .
Plastic leather, 14 triple d

I said： i wonder whats the shoes for
She told me： dont you worry no more
And got right down there on the tile floor：
Now darling
Stomp all over me!
Carolina hardcore ecstasy

Is this something new having people stomp on you？
Is it what i need to do for your pleasure？
(and other things)
What is this, a quiz？
Dont you worry what it is
It is merely just a moment
I can treasure

You know
By ten oclock
Her arms and legs were rendered
She couldnt talk cause her
Mouth had been extendered
It looked to me as though she had been blendered
What was this abject misery, no no
Carolina hardcore ecstasy, weh-hell

What was this abject misery, no no
Carolina hardcore ecstasy
It might seem strange to herb and dee
Carolina hardcore ecstasy


5.Church Chat

Frank zappa (vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar, vocals, zucchini)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

(somebody in the crowd yells in something in french... what is
it？)

You know today the church is in a terrible state. the bucks just
arent rollin in like they used to. and when the bucks don't come
in, the church comes up with a new gimmick to make you spend to
Heaven.

Now i know you don't know what i'm talking about, but what the
fuck. but anyway, listen to this ladies and gentlemen, when the
church wants to get your money they remind you about hell.
(whoo-ho
-ha-ha)

If you commit a sin you're gonna go to hell. (oui-oui)

Well let me give you an example, this boy over here;

Tell em about it brother zappa.

Sometimes people say： that if you fuck somebody (oh lord) its a
sin, (oui-oui) this may or may not be true.

(testify)

This boy not only fucked somebody with his organ, but he also
fucked a girl with a guitar, with an umbrella, with a zuchinni,
with a shoe, with an enema bag . . .

What else did you do？
A vibrato bar.
A vibrato bar!

Some people would say this is a sin. and if you sin youre gonna
go to hell.

Well ladies and gentlemen：
There aint no hell. (oui)
There is no such thing as hell. (oui)
There is no hell, there is only france! (oui-oui)
Oui, oui


6.Disco Boy

Terry bozzio (drums, background vocals)
Davey moire (vocals)
Andre lewis (organ, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Dave parlato (bass)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
Ruth underwood (synthesizer, marimba)
Donnie vliet (harmonica)
Louanne neil (harp)
Ruben ladron de guevara (background vocals)
Sharkie barker (background vocals)

Disco boy! run to toilet and comb your hair.
Disco boy! pucker your lip, and check your shoulders,
'cause some dandruff might be hiding there.

Disco boy, your the disco king, aw the
Disco thing made you think someday that you
Just might go somewhere.

Disco girl, you're outa sight, you need a
Disco boy, to treat you right.
He'll do a little dance, take you home tonight.
Leave his hair alone, but you can kiss his comb.

Disco boy! run to toilet and comb your hair.
Disco boy! shake it more than three times and you're
Playing with it while you're standing there.

Disco boy, do the bump every night, 'til the disco girl
Who's really right, gonna fall for your line,
And feed you a box full of chicken delight.

Disco chit-chat so demure,
Pump that booty all across the floor.
A disco drink, a disco wink,
You never go duty that's what you think.
You never go duty that's what you think.
You never go duty that's what you think.

Duty. go duty!
Duty. go duty!
Duty. you never go duty.
Duty. you never go duty.
Duty. you never go duty.
Duty. you never go duty.
You never duty. go duty.
Duty. you never duty.

Disco boy! you got one more chance, to comb your hair again.
Disco boy! they're closing the bar, and she's
Leaving with your friend.

Disco boy, that's the way it goes, so wipe your nose, and
Try it again, to get a little lay tomorrow.

Disco boy, no one understands, but thank the lord that you
Still got hands, to help you do that jerkin' that'll
Blot out your disco sorrow.

It's disco love tonight. make sure you look alright.
It's disco love tonight. make sure you look alright.


7.Filthy Habits


8.Florentine Pogen

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (flute, tenor saxophone, lead vocals)
Chester thompson (drums)
Tom fowler (bass)
Ruth underwood (vibes, marimba, percussion)
Bloodshot rollin' red (harmonica)

She was the daughter of a wealthy
Florentine pogen
Read 'em 'n weep
Was here adjustable slogan

She was a debutante daisy
With a color-note organ
Deep in the street
She drove a '59 morgan

That's the kinda step she takes
When her hot breaks hot breaks
That's the kinda sound she makes
(ooh, let go uh me)
When her crab cakes
(arf arf arf)

She didn't like it when her fan belt
Shrunk ＆ got shorter
(ointment)
Battery leak could nearly cost her a quarter

She didn't want to stay home
An' watch the pestle go mortar
Later she speaks
On how perellis might court her

Na-na-na-noo, etc.

She was the daughter
Ah-ah-ahhh
Of a wealthy
Florentine pogen
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Po-oh-wo-oh-oh
Ga-ya-ee-annnn

Read 'em 'n weep
Read 'em 'n weep
Read 'em 'n weep etc.

Chester's go-rilla
She go quack
Chester's go-rilla
She go oink
Chester's go-rilla
She go moo
Chester's go-rilla
She go
Hratche-plche
Hratche-plche


9.Johnny Darling

And she said
Johnny darlin
Ah-ah-ah hoo-oo
Dont ever go-o yea-heah
Ah-ha-ha-haaa
And she said： johnny darlin
Ah-ah-ah hoo-oo
Dont ever go-o yea-heah
Ah-ha-ha-haaa
And she said： johnny darlin
Johnny darling
Don't ever go-o-o-oooo
Oo-oo-oo-ooooooo


10.Let's Move To Cleveland

Frank zappa (guitar, lead vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Let's move to cleveland
(...)
Let's move to cleveland
(i've been there)
Let's move to cleveland


11.Little Girl Of Mine

Diddelidid, diddelidid
Diddelidid, diddelidid
Oh little girl of mine
Gee, but you sure look fine
Yes you appeal to me
I'll never set you free
Cause you mine loving baby
You belong to me
Thats the way it was meant to be

Oh little girl stay cool
Thats all i ask of you
Be mine and mine alone
Call me on the telephone
Cause you're mine loving baby
You belong to me
That's the way it was meant to be

Oh baby now i know
I love you so
I never -ill never let you go
I need your love oh so much
I feel to your touch
Oh little girl stay cool
Thats all i ask of you
Call me on the telephone
Be mine lovin baby till the end of time
I can't seem to get you off my mind
Oh baby . . . oh sugar.. oh darling . . .
Oh lover . . . oh baby . . . . oh sugar


12.Little Rubber Girl

Frank zappa (vocals)
Denny walley (vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Ed mann (percussion)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Arthur barrow (bass)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)

Thank you, okay, sit down.
Some more raw unbridled perfurnery for you
And yours during this festive holiday season.

A year ago today was when you went away
But now you come back knocking on my door
And you say you're back to stay, but i say

I don't need you (i don't need you)

I don't want you (i don't want you)

I don't need you (oh you treat me so bad baby)

I don't love you (oh you treat me like a piece of shit)

I don't need you (oh you know that's not it)

I don't want you

I can't use you (gotta get a little rubber girl)

Need a rubber girl (rubber girl)

Send me up a little rubber girl (y'know i can put it in the
back)

I got a rubber girl (got one with a 69 dollar battery pack)

Here comes my rubber girl (my little rubber girl)

A little rubber girl (she loves to do anything i want)

Little rubber girl (my little rubber girl)

My little rubber girl (i pull the string and she can do
anything)

I know she loves me (i can put it in the back)

I know she loves me (i can put it in the front crack)

I know she loves me (i can push her tonsils down her throat)

I know she loves me (and make that bitch scream like a goat)

I never have no trouble with my rubber girl (i like to bend her
over and ram it all the way in)

I never have no trouble with my rubber girl (and then go back
and do it again)

I never have no trouble with my litle rubber girl (y'know you
treated me like shit)

I never have no trouble with my little rubber girl (ahh, that's
why i never find me a lady)

I love my little rubber girl (little rubber girl)

I never have no trouble with my little rubber girl (she's a
lonely girl)

I never have no trouble with my rubber girl (i just pull the
string and she pumps up fast)

And she dances great! (she likes to put it in the back, i gotta
girl)

Little rubber girl (you know i fuck you every day)

Run-nnn-nn-nnn (and you treat me like shit)

Run-nnn-nn-nnn (fuck you bitch i'm gonna rape)

Run-nnn-nn-nnn (my little rubber girl)

Run-nnn-nn-nnn (little rubber girl)

Little rubber girl (oh my little rubber girl)

Little rubber girl (oh my little rubber girl)

Little rubber girl (hey my little rubber girl)

(is this the right time to put you in heaven baby)

You know, me and my rubber girl
We get along really swell, we never argue.
Three holes, no waiting


13.Love Of My Life

Ray collins (lead vocals)
Frank zappa (lead guitar)
Roy estrada (bass)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)
Ian underwood (piano, alto saxophone)
Don preston (piano)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone, tambourine)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)

Love of my life, i love you so
Love of my life, don't ever go
I love you only
Love, love of my life

Stars in the sky they never lie
Tell me you need me, don't say goodbye
I love you only
Love, love of my life

Stars in the sky, they never lie
Tell me you need me, don't say goodbye
I love you darling, i love you only
Don't ever leave me
Don't make me, don't make me
Don't make me lonely

Love of my life, i love you so
Love of my life, don't ever go
I love you only
Love, love of my life

(spoken)
Stars in the sky, they never lie
Tell me you need me, don't say goodbye
I love you darling, i love you only
Don't ever leave me
Don't make me, don't make me
Don't make me lonely

Love of my life, i love you so
Love of my life, don't ever go
I love you only
Love, love of my life
Love of my life, love of my life


14.Mary Lou

Frank zappa (lead vocals)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Im gonna tell you a story about mary lou
I mean the kind of a girl who make a fool of you
Shed make a young man groan and a poor man pain
The way she took my money was a cryin shame
Mary lou - she took my watch and chain
Mary lou - she took my diamond ring
Mary lou - she took my cadillac car
Jumped in my kitty and then drove afar

Well, she picked up from georgia, moved to kalamazoo
Made her a fortune outa fools like you
Met her a rich man who was married and had two kids
She stoked that cat till he flipped his lid
Mary lou - she took my watch and chain
Mary lou - she took my diamond ring
Mary lou - she took my cadillac car
Jumped in my kitty and then drove afar

Well, she came back to town about a week ago
Told me she was sorry she had hurt me so
I had a 55 ford and a two dollar bill
The way she took that man she gave me a chill
Mary lou - she took my watch and chain
Mary lou - she took my diamond ring
Mary lou - she took my cadillac car
Jumped in my kitty and then drove afar

Mary lou (mary lou, mary lou )
And (？) too (big fool, big fool)
Ahh, mary lou (mary lou, mary lou)
Oh child you big fool (big fool, big fool)

You did everything for him that you could do
Mary lou, mary lou (3x)

Awright, thank you for coming to the show, goodnight


15.Montana

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ralph humphrey (drums)
Sal marquez (trumpet, vocals)
Tom fowler (bass)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer)
Ruth underwood (marimba, vibes, percussion)
Ian underwood (flute, clarinet, alto saxophone, tenor saxophone)
Jean-luc ponty (violin, baritone violin)
Kin vassy (vocals)

I might be movin' to montana soon
Just to raise me up a crop of
Dental floss

Raisin' it up
Waxen it down
In a little white box
I can sell uptown

By myself i wouldn't
Have no boss,
But i'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental floss

Raisin' my lonely
Dental floss

Well i just might grow me some bees
But i'd leave the sweet stuff
For somebody else...but then, on the other hand i'd

Keep the wax
N' melt it down
Pluck some floss
N' swish it aroun'

I'd have me a crop
An' it'd be on top (that's why i'm movin' to montana)

Movin' to montana soon
Gonna be a dental floss tycoon (yes i am)
Movin' to montana soon
Gonna be a mennil-toss flykune

I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dennil floss
That's growin' on the prairie
Pluckin' the floss!
I plucked all day an' all nite an' all
Afternoon...

I'm ridin' a small tiny hoss
(his name is mighty little)
He's a good hoss
Even though
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
He's a bit dinky to strap a big saddle or
Blanket on anyway
Any way

I'm pluckin' the ol'
Dennil floss
Even if you think it is a little silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks
I don't care if you think it's silly, folks

I'm gonna find me a horse
Just about this big
An' ride him all along the border line

With a
Pair of heavy-duty
Zircon-encrusted tweezers in my hand
Every other wrangler would say
I was mighty grand

By myself i wouldn't
Have no boss
But i'd be raisin' my lonely
Dental floss

Raisin' my lonely
Dental floss
Raisin' my lonely
Dental floss

Well i might
Ride along the border
With my tweezers gleamin'
In the moon-lighty night

And then i'd
Get a cuppa cawfee
N' give my foot a push...
Just me 'n the pymgy pony
Over the dennil floss bush

N' then i might just
Jumb back on
An' ride
Like a cowboy
Into the dawn to montana

Movin' to montana soon
(yippy-ty-o-ty-ay)
Movin' to montana soon
(yippy-ty-o-ty-ay)


16.My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama

You know your mama and your daddy
Sayin i'm no good for you
They call me dirty from the alley
Til i don't know what to do

I get so tired of sneakin around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage
And your mama jumps out screamin'
Dont come back no more!

I cant take it
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad

Later i tried to call you
Your mama told me you werent there
(you just weren't there)
She told me don't bother to call again
Unless i cut off all my hair

I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage
And your mama jumped out screamin'
Dont come back no more!

I cant take it
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad
(repeat last three verses)


17.No, No Cherry

Frank zappa (vocals)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Well i found out baby
You told me a great big lie
Well i found out baby
You told me a great big lie
Cause when i got inside
You didn't have no cherry pie

Well you had no no cherry
No no cherry (x7)
You had no no cherry
No no cherry pie
Shoob-doo-wa
Shoob shoob doo wah

Well you had me fakin baby
Made me lose my pride
Well you had me fakin baby
Made me lose my pride
Cause i caught you lying bout what you had inside

And you had no no cherry
No no cherry (x7)
You had no no cherry
No no cherry pie
Shoob-doo-wa
Shoob shoob doo wah
No no (5x)
Cherry
Cherry
Pie-ie-ie-ie


18.Outside Now

Frank zappa (lead guitar)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

These executives have plooked the fuck out of me
And there's still a long time to go before i've
Paid my debt to society.
And all i ever really wanted to do was
Play the guitar n bend the string
Like： reent-toont-teent-toont-teenooneenoonee

I've got it
I'll be sullen and withdrawn -
I'll dwindle off into the twilight realm
Of my own secret thoughts!
I'll lay on my back here til dawn
In a semi-catatonic state
And dream of guitar notes
That would irritate
An executive kinda guy . . .

Well, i guess that one did the trick
If they only coulda heard it,
Half-a-dozen of em woulda strangled
While they was suckin on each others dick!
Yeah but that was only a bunch of imaginary
Notes i played -
Just a little extra somethin'
To keep me goin' from day to day,
But thats okay -
I'm gettin' outta here pretty soon -
Then i wont have to live
In this ugly fuckin room

I can't wait to see what its like
On the outside now . . .
And i can't wait to see what its like
On the outside now . . .
Now listen here
I can't wait to see what its like
On the outside now . . .
I mean it
I can't wait to see what its like
On the outside now . . .
Outside now
Outside now, yeah
(etc., etc., etc.)

One-two-three-four!


19.Pound For A Brown


20.Smell My Beard

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
George duke (keyboards)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Tom fowler (bass)
Chester thompson (drums)

Fz：
Now the sound that you hear in the background right now, is the
sound caused by george duke, agitating two metal insignias.
these are badges that he removed from a coupla boogers that
marty trie
Palm off on him in the last town that we was in. actually theyre
booger pasties and he's hitting the booger pasty with a little
stick to get a very interesting musical effect, you know he does
t
Very night. and sometimes he becomes so overwrought, so excited
by the fact that he's actually touching a piece of metal that
might have at one time come in contact with the actual flesh of
a bo
Bear. and so sometimes he misses it.

George：
Oh, lord have mercy . . .

Fz：
And he hits his thumb and he hurts hisself. yes it hurts very
much, but he likes pain. we can tell that he likes pain because
he's in this group.

George：
But, but, its very close to other things . . .

Fz：
Yes but later that night after george was finished fondling the
booger pasty, a thought came to his mind, how, how can i
possibly get any nook tonight in (pasege ？) if i don't put this
thing dow
Play the piano and get funky for these people. and so george, as
you say in your language, took it away . . .

George：
But before we get funky, the continuing stories of . . .

Napoleon：
Moontrick . . .

George：
No, this aint moontrick this time, we go to moontrick next show.
this is the continuing stories of the boogers of marty perellis.
do you all know who he is？ there he is. hes got a white shirt on
. . .

Fz：
Your two-hunderd and fifty closest relatives, the mothers of
invention . . .

George：
Yes, anyway, he was in my room. i invited some people over.
young ladies. they looked interesting. their names shall go
unmentioned.

Fz：
The reason they looked interesting is because they apparently
were intelligent enough to dress themselves.

George：
Anyway what was happening was . . . nothing. ha ha, wasnt
nothing happening. so i said lets get this party on the road. i
said lemme call the roadmanager. i said whats your name. mighty
perellis
Down here and meet miss cool, miss dew ＆ miss eh, miss stool. so
we, so marty got in there and he was there about five minutes
and all of a sudden i began to hear other things. i said what
Oing over there？ i said i never heard nobody do that king of
thing before. i said come out of that corner, whats wrong with
you, so he comissed it. we were all asking： men what youre doing
over
？

Fz：
Really whipping it, just whipping it into a frenzy.

George：
All of a sudden he was gone. i look around and marty had took
the booger out of his room. i said： where you going？ he went
down to his room which was room 33. an hour later i went to his
room. i
Ked on his door. i said： what you doin？ he said . . . i said：
say that again. i said： ho ho. it was late. we had an eight o
clock wake up. you all know what that is. eight o clock wake up,
eight
Ock wake up, eight o clock wake up, eight o clock wake up, eight
o clock wake up, eight o clock wake up ahrrrrrr. so marty came
out in the hall and looked in the pool and he said, can i say
this
Said： smell my beard. i said： you must be crazy.

Napoleon：
I had to smell it . . .

George：
Show, how ywas walking marty. and he said： smell my beard. i
said： i aint gonna smell nothing. napoleon said： ill . . .

Napoleon：
Check it out, i told you, check it out, make sure . . .

George：
Anyway if you wanna hear . . .

Napoleon：
You know what it smell like . . .

Fz：
Marty's odor.

George：
Come to the next show for the continuing stories of

Napoleon：
Marty's odor

George：
Marty's trick. but for now we go to . . .

See also comments to track 10 'let's move to cleveland solos'.


21.Stevie's Spanking

Frank zappa (lead guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

His name is stevie vai
And he's a crazy guy
Last november, i recall,
He needed a spanking

He decided then
A female specimen
Would be excitin' for a night
To give him a spanking

Laurel was her name
She came to notre dame
He told me just the other day
He oughta be thanking
Her for the spanking

She was large and soft
And she beat him off
Made him drool upon his dork
And gave him a wanking
After the spanking

Hair brush!
Oh! what a hair brush!
(its not that he requires grooming!
Guys with light blue hair never do!)

Then she did explain：
There's another game
That we can play with this device,
And then a banana!

It was slightly green
Vapors in between
Rising up to fill the room
And cook the banana

She said it was dry
Stevie won't you try
To drool a little drool on it
And grease the banana

Later in the dawn
Laurel carried on
She got right up and dressed herself and
Ate the banana


22.Stick Together

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals, drum machine)
Steve vai (guitar, acoustic guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (vocals)
Bob harris (boy soprano)
Ike willis (vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Arthur barrow (keyboards, bass, micro bass, rhythm guitar)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)
Craig steward (harmonica)
Dick fegy (mandolin)
Marty krystall (saxophone)

This is a song about the union, friends
How they fucked you over and the way they bends
The rules to suit a special few
And you gets pooched every time the do

You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together

Once upon a time the idea was good
If only they'd a done what they said they would
It ain't no better, they's makin' it worse
The labor movement's got the mafia curse

You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together

Don't be no fool, don't be no dope
Common sense is your only hope
When the union tells you it's time to strike
Tell the motherfucker to take a hike

You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together
You know we gotta stick together

(repeats)


23.Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Frank zappa (guitar)
Ike willis (vocals)
Mike keneally (guitar, synthesizer)
Bobby martin (keyboards)
Ed mann (percussion)
Walt fowler (trumpet, vocals)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Paul carman (alto saxophone)
Albert wing (tenor saxophone)
Kurt mcgettrick (baritone saxophone)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Awright, welcome, and good evening to the baseball game. im skip
carey, and with keith van weiren (？) for another game between
the atlanta braves and the chicago cubs. the braves are
featuring a
R outstanding cast. (arf!) we got a wonderful cast of characters
here. hes a home run interim rba leader for the year, what do
you think？

Well uh, i don't know what the problem is with these braves this
year theyve really been having trouble with one run games, on
sundays for some reason i don't know what it is, what do you
think.

Well pete eh . . . the dodgers had that problem last year, lot
of one run games specially on sundays, well they suddenly ended
up uhhhh.... last in the league. uhhhh.... coming over here,
zane s
Is pitchin today and i hear hes got good stuff.

Well actually i think the main problem is eh the rookies, the
rookies have just not be coming through. they havent been able
to handle that curve ball. seems to me like they really don't go
over
.

Oh here he goes, smash foul. he doesnt look to the plate. (that
goes for your little dog, too!)
He really gets a hold of that one, its gone.
Yes, elvis has left the building!
(an that goes for your little dog, too! an that goes for your
little dog, too!)

Move away for the seventh inning stretch after theeeeee... game
They're singing.
He swung on it and missed
Smash foul
Fans getting out of here in a hurry.
The player steps out to the plate.
(arf!)
Take me out to the game.
Uh, you can buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks.
I don't care if he never gets back.
Swung on it and missed...


24.Teen-age Wind

Frank zappa (lead vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

I gotta be free
Free as the wind
Free as the way
I gotta be
Maybe i'm lost
Maybe i've sinned
I gotta be totally free
Our parents don't love us
Our teachers they say
Things that are boring
So were running away
And we will be free
And people will see
That when we are free
Thats the way we should be
We must be free
We must be free as the wind
We were free well when we were born
We were born free but now
We are not free anymore
But we wanna be free
And were gonna be free
So we wanna be free
And were gonna be free

Did you know that：

Free is when you don't
Have to pay for nothing
Or do nothing
We want to be free
Free as the wind (4x)
We wanna, yeah-heah, we wanna, yeah-heah,
We wanna, yeah-heah, we wanna be free
We gonna, yeah-heah, we gonna, yeah-heah,
We gonna, yeah-heah, we gonna be free
We gotta, yeah-heah, we gotta, yeah-heah,
We gotta, yeah-heah, we gotta be free
We gotta, yeah-heah, we gotta, yeah-heah,
We gotta, yeah-heah, we gotta be free
We gotta, gotta
Gotta be free
Gotta be free
Gotta be free
Yeah-heah, yeah-heah
(etc., repeat)


25.The Black Page

Frank zappa (lead guitar)
Ike willis (guitar)
Ray white (guitar)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

(instrumental)


26.The Booger Man

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
George duke (keyboards)
Ruth underwood (percussion)
Tom fowler (bass)
Chester thompson (drums)

White juice on his beard
Well the booger man
White juice on his beard
Get down
White juice on his beard
The booger man
White juice on his beard
In my room
White juice on his beard
Look at the booger
White juice on his beard
Then he was gone
White juice on his beard
Wait three hours
White juice on his beard
Didnt sing no song
White juice on his beard
I said： what youre doing
None of your bizz
Said what youre doing
He said： none of your bizz
His pants were sticking through his leg
Talk about the booger man
His pants were sticking through his leg
Right over there
His pants were sticking through his leg
Oh the booger man
His pants were sticking through his leg
Had a bear
His pants were sticking through his leg
The booger man
Wonder why
They ate after six
Wonder why
I said： what youre doing
Wonder why
With you ole tricks
Wonder why
Oh lord the booger man
His pants were sticking through his leg
In my room
His pants were sticking through his leg
Damn little booger
White stuff on his beard
Till my noon
White stuff on his beard
What youre doing
White cream on his beard
In my bed
White cream on his beard
With that booger
His pants were sticking through his leg
Instead
His pants were sticking through his leg
Somebody find
Smell my beard is what he said
Somebody find, find, find
Smell my beard is what he said
Somebody find, find, find
Sho was good
Somebody made me do this

The booger man get on down
The booger man had a crown
On his head now
Cleaned his shoes
In his bed now, playin the blues, oh yeah. ah, lord.

George：
Personally i aint got nothing against no boogers y'know every
now and then you know . . .

Fz：
Yes, just listen to george all you boogers in the audience. this
is georges plea.

George：
But see, what you have to remember that uh, in the final
analysis, a booger to one is not a booger to all, he he . . .
aint that right, aint that right？

Fz：
Thats right!

George：
Aint that right

George：
Please, get down ruth . . .

Napoleon： as chester would say：
A booger is in the eye of the beholder

George：
Sure is . . .


27.The Closer You Are

Ray white (vocals)
Ike willis (vocals)
Bobby martin (vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Arthur barrow (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

The closer you are
The brighter the stars in the sky
And darling,
I realize
That you're the one in my life
Oh oh

My heart skips a beat
Every time
You and i meet
My life, my love, my dear
I can't defeat
This yearning deep in my heart
To have only you

When i first saw you,
I did adore you,
And all your loving ways
But then you went away,
But now you're back to stay,
And my love for you grows stronger every
Day-ahhh way-ahhh way

The closer you are,
The brigher the flames in my heart,
And darling,
We'll never part
We'll always be in love


28.The Evil Prince

Frank zappa (lead guitar)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, lead vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Well well well, now, dis de nasty sucker dat be respondable fo
de enwhiffment o de origumal potium. now in his infinate
respondable party personage as de evil prince and through de
magik o stage
T of course, wes about to see what gwine on in his magikal
conjurance up of his little cauldrom of doom! now check it on
out now

Somewhere, over there, i can tell,
I guess so
Theres the voice of
A potato-headed whatchamacallit
Whoo, do tell!
Who does not wish me well!
His clothes are quite stupid,
And also his shoes!
Ain't no bussiness like show business
He's got a big ol duck-mouth!
Who knows how he chews!

He thinks he knows something
About the great plan!
How ultimate blandness
Must rule and command

He knows not a drop,
Not a crumb,
Not a whit,
Of the reason for doing
This criminal shit
And then, if he did,
Would it matter a bit？
Not at all!
Because it is writ：

Our beige-blandish god
Tends to certify it：

Only the boring and bland shall survive!
Only the lamest of lameness will thrive!
Take it or leave it, you wont be alive,
If you are overtly creative!

Fairies and faggots and queers are
Creative
All the best music on broadway is
Native

Who will step forward
And end all this trouble？
For beige-blandish citizens,
Clutching the rubble
Of vanishing dreams
Of wimpish amusement,
Replaced by a rash
Of creative confusement!

Soon, my brave zombies,
Youll make your return!
Broadway will glow!
Broadway will burn!
(along with the remnants of
Everything new)
My holy disease will do
Wonders for you!
Those lovely producers
Who paid for you then
Will do it again, and again, and again!

The spying potato
The spying potato
With horrible diction
And terrible diction
Will rot in the garbage
I can smell it right now
When this shows eviction
Takes place shortly after
My alternate skill
Of theatrical sabotage
Triumphs your will!

I've a special review
Yes i know you really do!
I've been saving for years
Yes i know you really have
For a show just like this,
For a really stupid show
With potatoes and queers

I'll say its disgusting, atrocious, and dull
I'll say it makes boils inside of your skull
I'll say its the worst -of-the-worst of the year,
No wind down the plain, and its hard on your ear
I'll say its the work of an infantile mind
I'll say that its tasteless, and that you will find
A better excuse to spend money or time
At a tupper-ware party, wee-oo
So, do be a smarty!
Oo-oo-wee-oo
Hold on to that dollar
A little while longer
For spending it here,
Why, it couldnt be wronger!

Whats happened to broadway？
Wheres it gone, all the glitter？
The heart and soul
The patter？
The pitter？

And after this deadly review hits the paper,
In will come roper, bender ＆ raper,
To legally execute all that remains
Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains
Drug-addled brains, drug addled brains

(solo)

Hold on to that g-string
A little while longer
For spending it here,
Why, it couldnt be wronger!

Whats happened to broadway？
Wheres it gone, all the glitter？
The heart and soul
The patter？
The pitter？

And after this deadly review hits the paper,
In will come roper, bender ＆ raper,
To legally execute all that remains
Of this tragic amusement for drug-addled brains
Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey, brai-hains . . .


29.The Man From Utopia

Well this is the story of a man
That lived in pistoia
This is the story of a man
That lived in pistoia
He was a funny little fellow
With feet just like i showed ya
Well he had a girl
And tony got her for him
Well he had a girl
But sinobbio says he got it
She did everything for him
That she could do
But still (still still)
He locked her in the bathroom
But still (still still)
He locked her in the bathroom
Then he took her to milan
And locked her in the hotel too
Oh mary lou (mary lou, mary lou )
Oh child you big fool (big fool, big fool)
Oh mary lou (mary lou, mary lou )
Oh child you big fool (big fool, big fool)
You did everything for him
That you could do


30.The Torture Never Stops

Frank zappa (guitar)
Captain beefheart (harmonica, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Denny walley (slide guitar)
George duke (keyboards)
Tom fowler (bass)
Terry bozzio (drums)

Flies all green and buzzin'
In this dungeon of despair
Prisoners grumblin
Piss they clothes
Scratch their matted hair
A tiny light from a window-hole
Hundred yards away
That all they ever get to know
'bout the regular life in the day
'bout the regular life in the day

Slime and rot and rats and snuck
Vomit on the floor
Fifty ugly soldier men
Holdin' spears by the iron door
Stinks so bad, stones are chokin'
Weepin' greenish drops
In the den where
The giant fire puffer woiks
And the torture never stops
The torture never stops, torture
The torture never stops
The torture never stops

Flies all green and buzzin'
In this dungeon of despair
An evil prince eats a steamin' pig
In a tumbers right near there
In the chambers right near there
He eats de snouts an trotters first!
The loins and the groins are then dispersed
His carvin style is well rehearsed
He stands and shouts
All men be cursed (4x)
And disagree it, well no one durst
He the best of cause of all the woist
Best of cause of all the woist

He stinks so bad his stones been chokin'
Weepin' greenish drops
In the room with the iron maiden
And the torture never stops, torture
Torture never stops
Torture never stops, torture
Torture never stops

Flies all green and buzzin'
In dungeon of despair
Who are'll those people
That is shut away down there
Are they crazy
Are they sainted
Are they heroes someone painted
Someone painted
Are they -isms
Later ornated
Once they come they have been tainted
Once they come they have been tainted
Never been explained
Since at first it was created
But a dungeon and his kin'
Require naught but lockin' in
Of any anything thats been
Could be a her but its probly a him
Could be a her but its probly a him
Its whats the deal were dealin' in
Its whats the deal were dealin' in
An he stinks so bad its hurt
To the pearl and the piles of blast
Any dungeon have a trailer
Were the torture never stops, torture
Torture never stops
Torture never stops, torture
Torture never stops
Torture never stops, talkin' to you
Torture never stops


31.Tiny Sick Tears

Frank zappa (vocals)
Lowell george (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

You know sometimes in the middle in the night
You get to feeling uptight
And wish you were feelin alright
And you know youre white
And you ain't got no soul
And theres no one with a hole nearby
And therefore in your teen-age madness and delirium
You toss and turn in your sweaty little grey teen-age sheets
In that little room with the psychedelic posters
And the red bulb
And the incense
And your bead collection
And your country song round up books
And you cry your tiny sick tears
Tiny sick tears
Tiny sick tears
Tiny sick tears
You know you gotto gotto gotto gotto
Youve gotta find some relief from the terrible..
From the terrible ache thats clutching right at your heart
Because its hurting you to your heart
And your crying tiny sick tears
And you have to go downstairs
Out of your bedroom
Out into the hall
Down to the living room
To the living room
To the kitchen
To the cookie jar
Where you wanna get your cookies
And you take the top off the cookie jar
And you stick your tiny sick hand in the cookie jar
And you reach around in the cookie jar
To find a raisin cookie
A spongy one with the little plump raisins
A little tactile sensation for your tiny sick fingers
Squeeze the raisin on the cookie
Pull the cookie out of the jar
Stuff the raisin into your eating hole
Push it all the way in your eating hole
Now make your eating hole wrap itself around the tiny sick
cookie
Scarve the cookie
Put the lid back on the jar
Go over to the ice box
Open the ice box
Pull out the box of milk
Open the box of milk
Into a triangular beak like that
Pull the little triangular beak up to your drinking hole
Up to your hole
Pour the white fluid from the drinking box into your hole
Close the beak
Reinsert the box into the ice box
Close the box door
Walk out of the kitchen
Through the living room
Back up the stairs
Past your sisters room
Past your brothers room
You take a mask from the ancient hallway
Make it down to your fathers room
And you walk in
And your father, your tiny sick father
Is beating his meat to a playboy magazine
Hes got it rolled into a tube
And hes got his tiny sick pud stuffed in the middle of it
Right flat up against the centerfold
There he is your father with a tiny sick erection
And you walk in and you say：
Father i want to kill you
And he says： not now son, not now

Hands up!
Oooo laaaa

I know that its so hard stop playing this soul music, you know,
cause it really . . . for one thing its really easy . . . and
for another thing： it wastes a lot of time while were on stage.
we l
D in our travels that teenagers are ready to accept these two
chords no matter how theyre played. it makes you feel secure,
cause you know that after, did de dit de didde the other one is
gonna
On. it never fails, simple . . . some people would say its
bullshit. but we love it, don't we kids？

Meanwhile . . .


32.Truck Driver Divorce

Frank zappa (vocals, guitar)
Steve vai (rhythm guitar)
Ray white (rhythm guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Bobby martin (keyboards)
Ed mann (percussion)

Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad
(steel guitars
Usually weep all over it)

The bold ＆ intelligent
Masters of the road
With their secret language,
And the giant
Over-sized
Mechanical
Trans-continental
Hobby-horse!

Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad!
Oh the wife!
Oh the kids!
Oh the waitress!
Oh the drive all night!

Sometimes when you get home
Some ugly lookin' son-of-a-bitch
Is trying to pooch yer
Home-town sweetheart!

Oh, go ride the bull!
Oh, go ride the bull!
Make it go up 'n down
'n when you fall off,
You can eat the mattress!

Truck driver divorce!
It's very sad!
Bust yer ass
To deliver some string beans,
Deliver some string beans,
Deliver some string beans,
To
Utah!


33.Willie The Pimp

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Im a little pimp
With my hair gassed back
Pair a khaki pants
With my shoe shined black
I got a little lady . . .
And she walks that street
Tellin' all the boys
That she can't be beat
She can't be beat
She can't be beat
She's so sweet
She knows she can't be beat
She can't be beat
She can't be beat
She's so sweet
She knows she can't be beat

Twenny dollah bill
(i can set you straight)
Meet me on the corner boy an don't be late
Man in a suit
With a bow-tie neck
Tryna buy some pussy
With a third party check
A third party check, a third party check
He's tryna buy some pussy
With a third party check
A third party check, a third party check
He's tryna buy some pussy
With a third party checks
Standin' onna porch of the lido hotel
Floozies in the lobby love the way i sell：

Hot meat . . .
Hot rats . . .
Hot cats . . .
Hot zits

Hot meat . . .
Hot feet . . .
Hot rats . . .
Hot cats


34.You Call That Music？

Frank zappa (guitar)
Lowell george (guitar)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (clarinet)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)
Dave samuels (vibes)

(instrumental)


1.Advance Romance

no more credit
From liquor store
Suit is all dirty, boy
Shoes is all wore
Tired and lonely, my
Heart is all sore
Advance romance
I can't stand it no more
Told me she loved me
I believed what she said
Took me for a sucker, boy
All corn-fed
Next thing i knew
She had a bolt on the door
Advance romance
I can't use it no more
She took george's watch
Like they always do
(it was a timex, too!)
No more money, boy
I shoulda knew

'you know i told ya'
'i know you told me'
'ya didn't listen to me'
'but i couldn't listen to ya!'
'told ya 'bout the anchovies... george duke!'

The way she do me, boy
She might do you, too
Advance romance
People i am through!
Potato-head bobby
Was a friend of mine
Open three of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open four of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open five of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Open six of his eyes
In the food stamp line
Said she might be a devil
But she sure was fine
Advance romance
He wanna try it one time
Later that night
He drop on by
Told her all he wanna do
Was step up and say 'hi'
Half an hour later
She had frenched his fry
Advance romance
Bobby, say good-bye


2.A Game Of Cards

Frank zappa (dialog)
Motorhead sherwood (dialog)
Arthur tripp (dialog)
Ian underwood (dialog)

Fz：
They're really getting professional now. in the dressing room
waiting for the vanilla fudge to go off motorhead and arthur
dyer tripp the third are playing cards.

Arthur：
Pair of queens what is this shit？

Motorhead：
Pissy, pissy poop.

Arthur：
Can i go down with two cards？

Motorhead：
Pissy, pissy poop.

Arthur：
Do it this way. give me a good chance buddy.

Motorhead：
I'll take that sonabitch.

Arthur：
You better not

Motorhead：
I took it.

Arthur：
Oh, you're running for a spade straight, are ya？

Motorhead：
I took it.

Arthur：
Oh, i got your number.

Motorhead：
Oh whaddaya know.

Arthur：
I knew it.
You have any other one i want？
(phhht!)
I hear a fuzztone.
Wahhh

Motorhead：
You shink evvyzing gonna be awright？

Arthur：
Is this an accounting office？


3.A Pound For A Brown(On The Bus)

Frank zappa (lead guitar)
Ray white (guitar)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

(jazz scat)

(instrumental)


4.Baked-bean Boogie

Frank zappa (lead guitar)
Lowell george (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

(instrumental)


5.Charles Ives

Frank zappa (guitar)
Lowell george (guitar, lead vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

Hands up!

(instrumental)


6.Chocolate Halvah

Frank zappa (guitar)
Lowell george (guiro, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

Chocolate halvah
Chocolate halvah
Chocolate halvah


7.City Of Tiny Lites

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

City of tiny lites
Don't you wanna go
Hear the tiny auto horns
When they tiny blow
Tiny lightnin'
In the storm
Tiny blankets
Gonna keep you warm
Tiny pillows
Tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny sheets
Talkin' bout the tiny cookies
That the peoples eats
Well city of tiny lites
Maybe you should know
That it's over there
In the tiny dirt somewhere

You can see it any time
When you get the squints
From your downers and your wine
You're so big
It's so tiny
Every cloud is silver liney
The great escape for all of you
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do
Tiny is as tiny do

City of tiny lites
Do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-nt you wanna go
Hear the tiny auto horns
Whe-e-e-e-e-e-e-n they tiny blow
Tiny, lightnin
In the storm
Tiny blankets
Tiny blankets
Are bound to keep you warm
Tiny pillows
Talkin' bout those tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny sheets
Ooooo!
Talkin' bout them tiny cookies
That the peoples eats
City of tiny lights
May be you should know
Thats its over there
Well that is over there
Say that it's over there
Well it is over there


8.Dancin' Fool

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Adrian belew (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (background vocals)
Andre lewis (background vocals)
Randy thornton (background vocals)
Davey moire (background vocals)

Don't know much about dancin'
That's why i got this song
One of my legs is shorter than the other
'n' both my feet's too long
'course now right along with 'em
I got no natural rhythm
But i go dancin' every night
Hopin' one day i might get it right
I'm a dancin' fool, i'm a
Dancin' fool
I hear that beat; i jump outa my seat,
But i can't compete, 'cause i'm a
Dancin' fool, i'm a
Dancin' fool

The disco folks all dressed up
Like they's fit to kill
I walk on in 'n' see 'em there
Gonna give them all a thrill
When they see me comin'
They all steps aside
They has a fit while i commit
My social suicide, i'm a
Dancin' fool, i'm a
Dancin' fool
The beat goes on
And i'm so wrong
The beat goes on
And i'm so wrong
The beat goes on 'n' i'm so wrong
The beat goes on 'n' i'm so wrong
The beat goes on 'n' i'm so wrong
I may be totally wrong, but i'm a
Dancin' fool, i'm a
Dancin' fool
Youwsa, youwsa, youwsa
I got it all together now
With my very own disco clothes, hey!
My shirt's half open, t'show you my chains
'n' the spoon for up my nose
I am really somethin'
That's what you'd prob'ly say
So smoke your little smoke
Drink your little drink
While i dance the night away, i'm a
Dancin' fool, i'm a
Dancin' fool, (etc., etc.)

I may be totally wrong, but i'm a
I may be totally wrong, but i'm a
I may be totally wrong, but i'm a
Fool-uh!

Hey darlin'...can i buy ya a drink？
Lookin' for mister goodbar？ here he is...
Wait a minute...i've got it...you're an italian!
Hah？
Yer jewish？
Love your nails...you must be a libra...
Your place or mine？


9.Doreen

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Doreen, don't make me wait till tomorrow
No, no
Please darlin' let me love you tonight
And it'll be alright
You can't make me say i don't want you
No, no
My heart is burnin' with love
And i want you tonight

I really love you
You make me feel good
Please don't deceive me
Doreen you know
You should stay with me always
We could be lovers
Doreen your different
Then all the ... others
Doreen, don't make me wait till tomorrow
Oh oh no
Please darling
Let me love you tonight
And itll be alright
You can't make me say
I don't want you
Oh oh no
My heart is burnin' with love
And i want you tonight
Said, girl
I want you tonight
Say doreen i
I want you tonight
You gonna feel no pain baby
I want you tonight
Sweet doreen i
I want you tonight
Open up the door baby
I want you tonight
Sweet doreen say now
I want you tonight
Its alright , oh please, yeah
I want you tonight
Well . . .


10.Easy Meat

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Warren cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Bob harris (keyboards, trumpet, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Arthur barrow (bass, vocals)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)

This girl is easy meat
I seen her on the street
See-through blouse an' a tiny little dress
Her manner indiscreet...i knew she was
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat

She wanna take me home
Make me sweat and moan
Rub my head and beat me off
With a copy of rollin' stone
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat

...they're just not gonna stand for it...

I told her i was late
I had another date
I can't get off on the rollin' stone
But the robots think it's great...i knew she was
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy meat
Easy, easy, easy, easy
Easy meat, easy meat, easy meat, easy meat
Easy
She was so easy
Easy
Saw her tiny titties
Through her see-through blouse
I just had to take the girl to my house
Easy
Meat


11.F.z.／jcb Drum Duet

Frank zappa (drums)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

(instrumental)


12.Geneva Farewell

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Fz：
Okay, if you throw anything else on the stage, the concert is
over.

Up：
Cherchez les personnes qui jettaient les cigarettes sur l'stage,
s'il vous plait. et ne jettez pas les objets sur le stage. ne
jettez pas les objets. cherchez les personnes qui jettaient les
cig
Es sur l'stage, s'il vous plait.

Fz：
Houselights, the concert's over.


13.German Lunch

Lowell george (dialog)
Jimmy carl black (dialog)
Roy estrada (dialog)
Bunk gardner (dialog)
Don preston (dialog)
Motorhead sherwood (dialog)
Ian underwood (dialog)
Arthur tripp (dialog)
Buzz gardner (dialog)
Frank zappa (dialog)

Uhh, may i see your papers pleez？？
Uhhh, lemme see.
Hand me your suitcase, let me . . . open it.
I'm just a bit nervous you understand.
Open the suitcase.
This hasn't happened . . . too often.
Uh-huh, i see, how many . . . sixty-two packages of cigarettes.
why are you carrying all zees into germany for？ what are you
doing this for？
I . . . i . . .
How long have you been livin' in berlin？
I don't live in berlin.
Where do you live？
I live in texas.
Texas？
Texas.
Oh i see, lyndon johnson lives in texas too, does he not？
I know, sure does.
Ooh, hm this is alright.
You mind . . . is it alright if i shut my suitcase off？
Shut it off？？？
Ha, ha ha ha.
Do you care for one of these cigarettes？
Now, who's this lady you are with？
What lady？
This lady here, standing next to you.
Oh, this is uh, this is...
Has she has papers too？
Papers! lemme see your papers!
How come you have to yell so much, what did we do？
I don't yell.
Were just trying to get into the country.
This is my country, it's not your country, i'm ？ here, i've been
standing here for years and years doing zis every time. you
making me very angry.
Is this ze fazerland.
This is ze fazerland yes.
Listen you ought to check all the mothers through customs. hey
line up as soon as you finished . . .
Are you through with me, sir？
You may step over here to the right.
Thank you.
My name is fritz, open the suitcase please？
Just a moment here, just a moment.
What is this there's sixty two copies of horseshit magazine.
what are you carrying horseshit magazine around for . . .
It's a hoax, hold it, hold it here.
What is this. right there!
Hold it hold it. i'll never forget you fritz
Alright, next, you may close this now.
Next whos up, uh, here he comes. who are you？ hand me your
paper.
Here's my papers
Your name is duke？ what's this duke, duke dewild. have you seen
many german movies, you ever go to ze movies？
I never go to the movies
What is zis, you bring zees into germany. zees are japanese
tools. why do you bring japanese tools to germany where we make
the finest tools ever, you, what are you doingk？ that's 60 marks
for y
H my god, what's the matter with you？
(coughing)
Oh my god, please please not here. step . . . . oh my god, what
are you doingk. oh, who are you, what is your name, hand me your
paper. is your name larry？ larry frnoga？
Yes.
Larry frnoga？
Larry frnoga
Oh my god, what are you doing, what are you doing zat for？
I'm beating the horse to make it go faster.
That's not a horse that's a table.
What's the difference？
Ha, ha, ha
Don't go too fast, does it, for a table.
What is this？ ohhh, zefrin, cl brand of ah nasal spray. you have
a cold？ how long have you had a cold？
About a year. (about.)
You had a cold for a year, are you trying to bring a cold into
zis country. oh my god don't cough on me. what is this medal
say. sais berlin survival award 1968.
That's where i got my cold.
You were here before in berlin.
That's right.
What, what were you doing in berlin？
I gave a concert
You gave a concert in berlin？
That's right.
To whom？
The german people.
The german people
Yes.
Don't take the german people lightly, i say, who is this man
here, is it arthur, arthur tripp
Arthur, arthur
It's a german name is it not？
English
Tripp？
Ja.
Tripp？
Ja, ja？!
Ja, ja-ja...
Stop giggling, you're having too much fun, you know we arrest
people for having to much fun here.
I beg your pardon.
When you come to someone elses country do you run around on the
grass and make it dirty everywhere you go？
No, i stick pretty close to the bars.
You know you people all look... bars？
We have a lot of bars here
Ysure do. heh-heh, scuze me if i laugh.
Don't laugh.
Alright i'll do that.
Who is this man here, the other man？
He's our leader.
He is your leader？
Ja.
Wh-what is his function and how does he lead you？
He directs us by with signals various vocal noises.
Vocal noises？ vat are some of the noises？
Eh, peep.
Peep？
Poowah.
Pooowahhhhhh
I see you all are very well organised, we all like order in
germany you know. you have such a pleasant smile, may i see your
papers？
You see i don't exactly have my papers with me i.
You don't have papers？
I may have left them in my other bag.
He has no papers huh.
He has no papers.
I mean if there was something i could do for you.
Do you have any identification.
Identification, lemme see.
It's a nice watch you have on.
Wa ist los？
It used to have a mickey mouse there, i...
I tell you what i'll do.
If if if you give me zat watch.
Nein.
That's a very strange german accent.
Ja ha ha ha.
Are you sure . . .
Are you from strabourg or was
He's a russian spy, he's a russian i think.
I think so.
Get him.
Hands up!
Oh god.
What's goin on？
You want an enema？
No i'll take a cheeseburger.
Why is the bow-tie goink from your neck.
I'm practicing to fly.
Why is everyone in this group having bow ties going from ze
neck？
They're all weird.
Gimme your watch.
I still don't trust this guys accent.
Who is this, who, who？ come here, come over here. do you have a
suitcase.
We must watch this one.
We must watch this one, right. let's open the suitcase.
Awright. what is this, oh, you too carry many cigarette. what is
this lyrics. ah these are lyrics：
My guitar wants to kill you mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when he makes me mad
This is very good, this is very normal, german lyrics. you're
all welcome to our country.
Ha ha ha.
Don't laugh.


14.Here Lies Love

Frank zappa (guitar)
Lowell george (guitar, lead vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

Here lies love
In a grave caused by jealousy
Here lies love
In a grave caused by jealousy
Hate was a pall bearer
And on the tombstone was written misery

It was a bad situation
From the beginning to the end
It was a bad situation
From the beginning to the end
I say, baby you killed my love
Now the undertaker is your friend

Now i'm sad and i'm blue
There's not much i can do
If these blues don't leave me
The undertaker will get me too

Ooh-hoo here lies love
In a grave caused by jealousy
You know that hate was the pall bearer
And on the tombstone was written misery


15.Jcb ＆ Kansas On The Bus #1

Jimmy carl black (dialog)
Kanzus j. kanzus (dialog)
Dick kunc (dialog)
Dick barber (dialog)

Hands up!
He he he, wroaa wroaa wroaa
. . . why's he got them two microphones taped together, what if
we taped their dicks together？ what would they say？

I get a feeling o the blues
(youd have a helluva time gettin' your pants on, i'll tell ya
that...)
Oh lord, since my baby said goodbye (been gonnnnne)
Dee dee dee dee
Lord i don't know what to do
All i do is sit and cry, oh lord
Since them dead-gone days you said goodbye
Well lord i thought i would be die...
The beer that made milwaukee famous
But the braves didn't hurt it any
She do me, she do you
Shes got the kind of lovin'
Lord i loved to hear when
She called me sweet daddy


16.Jcb ＆ Kansas On The Bus #2

Jimmy carl black (dialog)
Kanzus j. kanzus (dialog)
Dick kunc (dialog)
Dick barber (dialog)

Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh
That'll do you.
My names kansas and i'm from lyons.
The lyons lions.
L.y.o.n.s.
You got any smokes？
Y'damn right. huh？
What kind of smokes？
Cigarettes.
Wanna a chester booger？
What else did you think i meant,
I got some cigars up there too, brother.
No, i jes, frank wanted to know if you had any winstons.
Anybody have any winstons？
No, i don't.
Gimme a chesterfield.
Does motor have any more winstons,
I know he just bought a carton...
I'll pass man.
Boy, i'm havin' another one.
You can't beat another chesterfield, like the 48 others.
After 48 others.
Suck em right up.
Euclid, get up.
Let him sleep.
Fuck him, all he does is sleep.
Dub dab dab doo da down
Dabbe doo dee.
Put that pistol down, babe.
Put that pistol down
Don't take your guns to town, bill


17.Meow

Ray collins (tambourine, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

Mmmm-meow,
Mmmmmm-meow,
Mmm-meow
Poo-wah
Poo-wah
Poo-wah


18.Moggio

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals, drum machine)
Steve vai (guitar, acoustic guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (vocals)
Bob harris (boy soprano)
Ike willis (vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Arthur barrow (keyboards, bass, micro bass, rhythm guitar)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)
Craig steward (harmonica)
Dick fegy (mandolin)
Marty krystall (saxophone)

(instrumental)


19.Mozart Ballet - Piano Sonata In B Flat

Frank zappa (vocals)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (acoustic piano)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

Fz：
While the well disciplined ian underwood plays selected
fragments from mozarts piano sonata in b-flat and we make
electric noises, some members of our rocking teen combo will hop
around on stage
Grotesque parody of the art of ballet dancing.

Oh you have to carry him. . . .
...you carry him!

Come on, i told everybody

Bok, bok, bickehh!
Bok, bok, bickehh!
Bok, bok, bickehh!
Boy, do i hate chickens!
Bok, bok, bickehh!
Bok, bok, snork, snork, snork

During this part of our extremely zany ballet, don preston
disguised as a mad scientist will convert the unwilling
motorhead sherwood into a walking zombie.

Bok, bok, (heh), bock!

Don, let him get his smock on!


20.My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone, snorks)
Buzz gardner (trumpet, flugel horn)
Roy estrada (bass)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)
Don preston (piano, organ, electronic effects)
Don 'sugar cane' harris (electric violin)
Lowell george (rhythm guitar, vocals)

You know, your momma and your daddy
Saying i'm no good for you
They call me dirty from the alley
Till i don't know what to do

I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawl past the garbage and
Your momma jumps out, screamin'
'don't come back no more'
I can't take it

My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad

Later i tried to call you
Your momma told me you weren't there
She told me： 'don't bother to call again'
'less i cut off all my hair

I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawl past the garbage and
Your momma jumps out, screamin'
'don't come back no more'

Later i tried to call you
Your momma told me you weren't there
She told me： 'don't bother to call again'
'less i cut off all my hair
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawl past the garbage and
Your momma jumps out, screamin'
'don't come back no more'

My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad


21.My Head？

Roy estrada (dialog)
Don preston (dialog)
Ian underwood (dialog)
Bunk gardner (dialog)
Motorhead sherwood (dialog)
Jimmy carl black (dialog)
Arthur tripp (dialog)

See my head, (no, no more, stop it)
My head？!!
Hahahaha
Let's see if you can put your knees all the way up to your
armpits, art.
Artie, artie, artie. suck, suck . . .
Sit on his face girl.
Say, say hello baby.
Suckit.
Doonk.
Juice it, juice it..
Get it in.
Lemme see your cock. oh, jesus.
White skin, lemme . . .
Look at it man.
One, two, three.
One two three？
Is it succulent？
Ooh, you grabbed a tuft of hair there...
Oooh, i like it (do you？)
Hooh-hoh-ha, brap!
Come up here, were havin a party.
Oh artie, oh.
Jizz you, jizz you, art!
Look out.
Gimme some nose.
Jizz you
Ayyyy
You're gonna tear the fuckin buttons..
Jizz you, jizz you
Owwww.
I didn't even believe it
You didn't believe it？
Oh, look at that.
Boy i didn't believe it.
I didnt even beleeve it.
Oh, that's good.
I didn't even beleeeeve it.
How bout that？
All that hair coming out of me, ...
Happy birthday, artie.
How many humps do we give him？
How many humps do we give him？
Twenty four？
Twenty four big ones.
Twenty four big ones.
Twenty four jizzers.
Get one- and one to count.
And one to grow on.


22.No Waiting For The Peanuts To Dissolve

Frank zappa (guitar)
Lowell george (guitar)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

So beerage (？), there's my all time favorite though, instantly.
there's no waiting for the peanuts to dissolve.
Thats two-fifty
Somebodys
They don't have one of my all-time favorites. it's really
upsetting.
Mary？ this gentleman here wants to have a


23.Piano／drum Duet

Ian underwood (electric piano)
Arthur tripp (drums)

(instrumental)


24.Proto-minimalism

Frank zappa (lead guitar)
Lowell george (guitar)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)
Dave samuels (vibes)

Poowah!


25.Rdnzl


26.Return Of The Hunch-back Duke

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Lowell george (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

(instrumental)


27.Right There

Frank zappa (guitar)
Lowell george (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone, vocals)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone, vocals)
Jimmy carl black (drums, vocals)
Arthur tripp (drums, vocals)

Hehehehuhu
Oh god stop, ahhaha
Oh god oh god
Right there, right there, right there
Ohowowoho

Oho ay ay oh oh oh
Right there, right there, oh god
Oh god, ai ai, oh god, oh oh oh
Ohh, ohh, oh no

I cant stand it

Right there, right there, right there
Right there, ohwohoh, right there
Over there, right there, right there
He he he he he

Oww yes, oww yes
Oh yes, oh yes
(etc)

More, more, more, more
More, more, more, more
Lalalalalala
(etc)

Oh gosh, ho ho ho, oh gosh
Poowah
I feel so good
Wra
I feel so good
Wra
Hands up!


28.Run Home Slow： Main Title Theme

Frank zappa (guitar)
Lowell george (guitar)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

(instrumental)


29.Shall We Take Ourselves Seriously？

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Uhhh, mike scheller says his life is a mess fritz rau says
asparagus should only be consumed by people with a larger mouth
(？) fa fa fa fa shall we take ourselves seriously？ shall we talk
about
L night long？ shall we think we are so evolved？ will we be
depressed if were wrong？ shall we take ourselves seriously？
shall we take ourselves elsewhere？ shall we drink while we squat
there in t
Ddle of this stupid song？ shall we never go out there？ shall we
take us where we dont belong when we notice that the spargel is
gone？ shall we weep in the box office dawn oh go away im no good
f
U are the tickets all counted？ are the costs all accounted for？
shall we bring up the spargel for discussion at least once more？
shall we take ourselves seriously？ shall we think we are so
matur
All we be very wrong at the end of this song？ if we will ever
(？)


30.The Dead Girls Of London

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Steve vai (guitar)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Do you see what they are
Do you hear what they say
People it is sad but true
They're dressed really stupid
But they think they're o.k.
And they got no use for you
The dead girls of london
Why do they act that way？

Maybe it's the water, mama
Maybe it's the tea
Maybe it's the way they was raised
Maybe it's the stuff what they read in the papers
Keeps them lookin' sorta half in a daze
Well the dead girls of london
Why do they act that way？

We're the dead girls of london
We thinks we are fine
We ain't hittin' on nothin'
But the boutique frame of mind

You see 'em dancing at the disco every night
Like a bunch of little robot queens
Making little noises full of fake delight
But they're really just so full of beans
The dead girls of london
Why do they act that way？

We're the dead girls of london
We thinks we are fine
We ain't hittin' on nothin'
But the boutique frame of mind

Boutique frame of mind
Gee i like your pants
Boutique frame of mind
Gee i like your pants
Boutique frame of mind
Gee i like your pants


31.The Downtown Talent Scout

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Elliot ingber (rhythm guitar)
Roy estrada (bass)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Ray collins (tambourine)

The kids are freaking out
Everybody's goin' nuts
The heats out every night
To call up names and kick thier butts
But everytime you turn around
You'll see some joker staring back
He's got a secret tape recorder
And a camera in a sack
Pretending that he's just another
Of the kiddies freaking out
But they pay him off in acid
Cos he's a downtown talent scout

He's got your name
And he's got your face
He's got your ex-old lady's place
He's here to see whats goin down
And they don't believe the things he's found

The badges gleam and the minors scream
When he pulls on the scene
They got no warrants in their pockets
But that badge makes them supreme

You kids are smoking dandelions
You're sniffing paper bags baby
You're dropping good n' plenties
We can tell your posture sags
Now line up here against the wall
Your bodies frail and thin
And open up your pockets
While we dump the evidence in

Well they know that smoking flowers
Won't win a case in court
And they know that good n' plenties
Aren't the psychedelic sort
But they tear your place apart
Because they simply couldn't pass
A chance to drag some freaks downtown
For smoking devil grass

Well you never get your day in court
The food downtown is foul
The day of trial you nearly die
With maggots in your bowel
But modern law and justice
Has advanced to such a point
That a jury trial is useless
They simply take you to the joint

Cause after all you look so freaky
How could anyone believe
That what you think and what you feel
Comes close at all to what is real

Blow your harmonica son


32.The Little March

Frank zappa (guitar)
Lowell george (guitar)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

(instrumental)


33.Trouble Every Day

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Lowell george (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

Well i'm about to get up sick
From watchin my t.v.
Been checkin' out the news
Until my eyeballs fail to see
I mean to say that every day
Is just another rotten mess
And when its gonna change, my friend
Is anybody's guess
So i'm watching and i'm waiting
Hopin' for the best
Even think i go to praying
Every time i hear them sayin'
That there's no way to delay
That trouble comin' everyday
No way to delay
That trouble comin' every day

Wednesday i watched the riot
I've seen the cops out on the street
Watch them throwing rocks and stuff and choking in the heat
Listen to reports
About the whiskey passin' round
Seen the smoke and fire
And the market burnin' down
Watched while everybody on his street would take a turn
They stomp and smash and bash and crash and slash and bust 'n
burn
And i'm watching and i'm waitin hopin' for the best
Even think i go to prayin'
Every time i hear em sayin'
That there's no way to delay
That trouble comin' every day
No way to delay
That trouble comin' everyday

You can cool it
You can heat it
Cause baby i don't need it
Take your t.v. tube and eat it
And all that phony stuff on sports
And all those unconfirmed reports
You know i watch that rotten box
Until my head begin to hurt
From checkin' out the way
The newsmen say they get the dirt
Before the guys on channel so and so
And further they assert
That any show they litter up
They bring you news if it comes up
They say that if the place blows up
They will be the first to tell
Cause the boys they got downtown
Working hard and doin swell
And if anybody gets the news
Before it hits the streets
They say that no one blams it faster
Their coverage can't be beat
And if another woman driver
Gets machine gunned from her seat
They'll send some joker with a brownie
And youll see it all complete

So i'm watching and i'm waiting
Hopin for the best
Even think i go to praying
Every time i hear them saying
That there's no way to delay
That trouble comin' everyday
No way to delay
That trouble comin' every day

Well i've seen the fires burnin'
And the local people turnin'
All the merchants and the shops
Who use to sell their brooms and mops
And every other household item
Watch the mob just turn and bite em
And they say it serve them right
Because a few of them are white
And it's the same across the nation
Black and white discrimination
Yell and you can understand me
And all that other crap they hand me
In the papers and t.v.
And all that mass stupidity
That seems to grow more everyday
These time of year some asshole say
He wants to go and do you in
Cause the color of your skin
Just don't appeal to him
No matter if it's black or white
Because he's out for blood tonight


34.Underground Freak-out Music

Frank zappa (vocals)
Lowell george (guitar)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

This is uh, underground, psychedelic, acid-rock freak out music.

Yea-uh!
Moowaahhhh!
Where are your papers？
Immer ist der himmel ber alles
Fur euer himmel


35.What's New In Baltimore？

Frank zappa (guitar, lead vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, saxophone, vocals)
Alan zavod (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)

Hey! what's new in baltimore？
How 'bout that chord to replay？
Hey! what's new in baltimore？
The newest chord in all of baltimore!
Hey! what's new in baltimore？
What's new in baltimore？

Hey! what's new in baltimore？
Hey! what's new in baltimore？
Hey! what's new in baltimore？
What's new in baltimore？
What's new in baltimore？
What's new in baltimore？


36.Where's Our Equipment？

Frank zappa
Ray collins (tambourine)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (piano)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Billy mundi (drums)

(instrumental)


37.Where Is Johnny Velvet？

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Lowell george (guitar, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass)
Don preston (keyboards)
Buzz gardner (trumpet)
Ian underwood (alto saxophone)
Bunk gardner (tenor saxophone)
Motorhead sherwood (baritone saxophone)
Jimmy carl black (drums)
Arthur tripp (drums)

Fz：
Thank you.

Audience：
No violence here, it's part of the. . .

Fz：
Would you like to come up here and sing with us？
Come on, anybody can sing this stuff.

Audience：
Nahh, i wanna-wanna i wanna think that stuff.

Fz：
You wanna what？

Audience：
Think it.

Fz：
You wanna think it？

Audience：
Yeah, right.

Fz：
Why dont you make up some words for us and well sing 'em.

Audience：
Johnny velvet on the loose. oooh, yeah, johnny velvet.

Fz：
Where is johnny velvet？

Audience：
Why don't you look inna central park？ help i'm a rock!

Fz：
Help i'm a rock, you really want us to play that？

Audience：
Yeahhh, noo, yeah

Fz：
Yeah, no, who gives a shit


1.200 Motels Finale


2.Alien Orifice


3.Black Napkins

Terry bozzio (drums, background vocals)
Davey moire (vocals)
Andre lewis (organ, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Dave parlato (bass)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
Ruth underwood (synthesizer, marimba)
Donnie vliet (harmonica)
Louanne neil (harp)
Ruben ladron de guevara (background vocals)
Sharkie barker (background vocals)

(instrumental)


4.Camarillo Brillo

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ralph humphrey (drums)
Sal marquez (trumpet, vocals)
Tom fowler (bass)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer)
Ruth underwood (marimba, vibes, percussion)
Ian underwood (flute, clarinet, alto saxophone, tenor saxophone)
Jean-luc ponty (violin, baritone violin)

She had that
Camarillo brillo
Flamin' out along her head,
I mean her mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red

She ruled the toads
Of the short forest
And every newt in idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in buffalo

She said she was
A magic mama
And she could throw a mean tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone i should know

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But i couldn't come in
(i couldn't come in right then...)

And so she wandered
Trough the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' i'd just love it in her room

Well, i was born
To have adventure
So i just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets

She stripped away
Her ranchid poncho
An' laid out naked by the door
We did it till we were un-concho
An' it was useless any more

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But i couldn't come in
(actually, i was very busy then)

And so she wandered
Trough the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' i'd just love it in her room

Well, i was born
To have adventure
So i just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets

She said she was
A magic mama
And she could throw a mean tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone i should know

(is that a real poncho...i mean
Is that a mexican poncho
Or is that a sears poncho？
Hmmm...no foolin' ...)


5.Catholic Girls

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Warren cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (lead vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Arthur barrow (bass, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)
Jeff (tenor saxophone)
Marginal chagrin (baritone saxophone)
Stumuk (bass saxophone)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Al malkin (vocals)
Craig steward (harmonica)

A festive cyo party with crepe paper streamers, contestants for
the broom dance, the 'hokey pokey,' baked goods, ＆ father riley
making sure the lights don't go down too low...

Father riley and various party goers：
Catholic girls
With a tiny little mustache
Catholic girls
Do you know how they go？
Catholic girls
In the rectory basement
Father riley's a fairy
But it don't bother mary
Catholic girls
At the cyo
Catholic girls
Do you know how they go？
Catholic girls
There can be no replacement
How do they go, after the show？

Joe：
All the way
That's the way they go
Every day
And none of their mamas ever seem to know
Hip-hip-hooray
For all the class they show
There's nothing like a catholic girl
At the cyo
When they learn to blow...

Father riley：
They're learning to blow
All the catholic boys!

Mary：
Warren cuccurullo...

Father riley：
Catholic boys!

Mary：
Kinda young, kinda wow!

Father riley：
Catholic boys!

Mary：
Vinnie colaiuta...

Chorus：
Where are they now？
Did they all take the vow？

Father riley：
Catholic girls

Warren：
Carmenita scarfone!

Father riley：
Catholic girls

Officer butzis：
Hey! she gave me vd!

Father riley：
Catholic girls!

Warren：
Toni carbone!

Chorus：
With a tongue like a cow
She could make you go wow!

Joe：
Vd vowdy vootie
Right away
That's the way they go
Every day
Whenever their mamas take them to a show
Matinee
Pass the popcorn please
There's nothing like a catholic girl
With her hand in the box
When she's on her knees

Larry：
She was on her knees,
My little catholic girl

Chorus：
In a little white dress
Catholic girls
They never confess
Catholic girls
I got one for a cousin
I love how they go
So send me a dozen
Catholic girls
Ooooooh!
Catholic girls
Ooooooh!
(etc.)

Central scrutinizer：
This is the central scrutinizer...
Joe had a girl friend named mary.
She used to go the church club every week.
They'd meet each other there
Hold hands
And think pure thoughts
But one night at the social club meeting
Mary didn't show up...
She was sucking cock backstage at the armory
In order to get a pass
To see some big rock group for free...


6.Crew Slut

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Warren cucurullo (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (lead vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Arthur barrow (bass, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion)
Vinnie colaiuta (drums)
Jeff (tenor saxophone)
Marginal chagrin (baritone saxophone)
Stumuk (bass saxophone)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Al malkin (vocals)
Craig steward (harmonica)

Backstage at the local armory, mary, in her little white dress,
is wiping the remnants of her performance off the side of her
mouth as larry (the guy from the garage who quit the band in
order t
E an honest living) zips up the front of his stinking boiler
suit and sings to the same teen-age girls who were stomping and
clapping a little while ago, as they kneel with their little
pink mou
Pen near the crew bus, hoping to save the price of admission by
performing acts of hooverism on the jolly lads who set up the
p.a. system.

Larry：
Hey hey hey all you girls in these
Industrial towns
I know you're prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the local clowns
They never give you no respect
They never treat you nice
So perhaps you oughta try
A little friendly advice
And be a crew slut
Hey, you'll love it
Be a crew slut
It's a way of life
Be a crew slut
See the world
Don't make a fuss, just get on the bus
Crew slut
Add water makes its own sauce
Be a crew slut
So you don't forget, call before midnite tonite
The boys in the crew
Are just waiting for you
You never to get move around
You never go nowhere
I know yer prob'ly gettin' tired
Of all the guys out there
You always wondered what it's like
To go from place to place
So, darlin', take a little ride
On the mixer's face
Be a crew slut
Just follow the magic footprints
Be a crew slut
Hey, you'll love it!
Be a crew slut
It's a way of life
I ain't gonna squash it
And you don't need to wash it!
Crew slut
Hey, i'll buy you a pizza
Crew slut
Of course i'll introduce you to warren
The boys in the crew
Are only waiting for you

At this point, the road crew, as all road crews must from time
to time, borrow some of the big rock group's equipment and have
a blues jam session, indicating to the kneeling maidens that
they a
Dowed with a great deal of raw talent, as well as massive meat.
obviously impressed with larry's ability to suck so hard on his
harmonica that screeching little noises come out of it, mary
kneel
In and reaches upward in gestures of supplication, listening
intently as larry continues to sing...

Larry：
Well you been to alabama, girl,
'n' georgia too
'n' all the boys in the crew
Is bein' good to you
I know yer sayin' to yourself
'this is the way to go'
'cause when you need a little extra
They will give you some mo'
'cause you're the crew slut

Mary：
Eh, hah ha, i'm into leather...

Larry：
That's good! a lot of the boys in the crew love leather...

Mary：
And rubber...

Larry：
Yeh, they like rubber too...shrink-tubing
With a hair dryer...

Road crew chorus：
Trade your spot on the bench
For a guy with a wrench
And be a...

Mary：
Ha ha ha...

Larry：
You like that, huh？
I told you you'd love it...
It's a way of life!

Road crew chorus：
The guys in the crew
Have got a present for you!
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Mary：
A present for me？

Road crew chorus：
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Larry：
Hmmm, we got a present for you!

Road crew chorus：
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Mary：
Whaddya got？

Road crew chorus：
Ren nah naaah

Mary：
Whaddya gonna give me？

Road crew chorus：
Ren nah naaah
Ren nah naaah

Larry：
It looks just like a telefunken u-47
You'll love it...

Mary：
With leather？

Central scrutinizer：
Eh errr, eh eh...this is,eh, the central scrutinizer again...
And so mary was enticed away from joe
By an evil barbarian with a wrench in his pocket
Lured into a life of sleazery
With the entire road crew of some
Famous rock group
(i don't know whether it was really toad-o or not
...i don't know... i'll check it out)
Again we see
Music
Causing
Big trouble!


7.Dinah-moe Humm


8.Dirty Love

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
Ralph humphrey (drums)
Sal marquez (trumpet, vocals)
Tom fowler (bass)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
George duke (keyboards, synthesizer)
Ruth underwood (marimba, vibes, percussion)
Ian underwood (flute, clarinet, alto saxophone, tenor saxophone)
Jean-luc ponty (violin, baritone violin)
Ricky lancelotti (vocals)

Give me
Your dirty love
Like you might surrender
To some dragon in your dreams

Give me
Your dirty love
Like a pink donation
To the dragon in your dreams

I don't need your sweet devotion
I don't want your cheap emotion
Just whip me up some dragon lotion
For your dirty love

Give me
Your dirty love
Like some tacky little pamphlet
In your daddy's bottom drawer

Give me
Your dirty love
I don't believe you have ever seen
That book before

I don't need no consolation
I don't want your reservation
I only got one destination
An' that's your dirty love

Give me
Your dirty love
Just like your mama
Make her fuzzy poodle do

Give me
Your dirty love
The way your mama
Make that nasty poodle chew

I'll ignore your cheap aroma
And your little-bo-peep diploma
I'll just put you in a coma
With some dirty love

The poodle bites!
(come on, frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(snap it!)
The poodle bites!
(come on, frenchie)
The poodle chews it!
(snap it!)


9.Emperor Of Ohio


10.Farther O'blivion


11.He's So Gay

Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve vai (guitar)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Chuck wild (piano)
Arthur barrow (bass)
Scott thunes (bass)
Jay anderson (string bass)
Ed mann (percussion)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Ike willis (vocals)
Terry bozzio (vocals)
Dale bozzio (vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (vocals)
Bob harris (vocals)
Johnny 'guitar' watson (vocals)

Ensemble： (singing)
He's so gay
He's so gay
He's very very gay
He's so gay
He's so gay
And he likes to be that way
With his keys all on the right
He's into rubber every night
He's so gay
He's so gay
He's almost everyone today

He's okay
He's okay
He's got a role he wants to play
He's okay
He's okay
He's just a cowboy for a day

Of course, his evening's not complete
Without some meat in the seat;
Let's skate away
Down santa monica today

Maybe he wants a little spanking
Maybe he'll eat a little chain
Maybe his lover should be thanking him
For the way he makes it sprinkle
Into drops of golden rain

He's so gay
He's so gay
He rules the city in a way
You could say
You could say
It's sorta different today
All the taffeta and chintz
And every leather boy's a prince
Hey hey hey!
Please don't look the other way

You could be just like him
Tomorrow!
Maybe you'll get a chance
To borrow
(borrow)
His bouquet
And maybe later...maybe later
We'll all be
Gay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y!
Do you really wanna hurt me？


12.Honey, Don't You Want A Man Like Me？

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Eddie jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion, synthesizer)
Don pardo (vocals)
David samuels (vibes)
Randy brecker (trumpet)
Mike brecker (tenor saxophone, flute)
Lou marini (alto saxophone, flute)
Ronnie cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet)
Tom malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo)
John bergamo (percussion over-dub)
Ed mann (percussion over-dub)
Louanne neil (osmotic harp over-dub)

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

He was the playboy type (he smoke a pipe)
His fav'rite phrase was 'outa-site!'
He had an irish setter

It was a singles bar, a tuesday night
The moon was dim, the band was tight
They did the bump together

What a splendid sight,(ren-nen-nen-nen) her teeth were white
The drinks were cheap (it was ladies nite)
He was glad that he met her

She was an office girl ('my name is betty')
Her fav'rite group was helen reddy
(they discussed the weather)

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man

She was the lonely sort, just a little too short
Her jokes were dumb and her fav'rite sport
Was hockey (in the winter)

He was duly impressed and was quick to suggest
Any sport with a puck had to be 'bout the best
As he jabbed his elbow in her ('get it honey？ get it？')

Later on they went off to where the music was soft,
The candles were drippy, they saw a real hippy
Who delivered their dinner

The rice was brown, and soon they found
That the crowd around that had jammed the room,
Well it seemed to be getting thinner

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man

He took her home to a motor court
She wouldn't kiss him, he tried to ignore it,
But it made him angry!
Angry, it made me angry, it made me so angry i could have killed
that
Lousy bitch!)

He called her a slut, a pig and a whore
A bitch and a cunt and she slammed the door
In a petulant frenzy!
(a petulant frenzy, this is a petulant frenzy.
I'm petulant, and i'm having a frenzy)

On the sofa she weeps
Boo hoo hoo hoo
She weeps and she weeps
Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo
She weeps and she peeks
Through the curtain

He just got in his car
But the battery's dead
So he asks to use the phone
And she gives him some head
And that's the end of the story

Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a man like me
Honey honey, hey
Baby don't you want a
Baby don't you want a man
Baby don't you want a man sometimes？


13.I'm So Cute

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Adrian belew (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (background vocals)
Andre lewis (background vocals)
Randy thornton (background vocals)
Davey moire (background vocals)

One two three four!

Feelin' sorry
Feelin' sad
So many ugly people
I feel bad
I'm so cute
They're so homely
Some of them
At home 'n' lonely
Wish they could be
Very cute like me
But they will never
Get to be
Some folks got it
Some folks don't
Some so ugly
They never won't

Everybody
See his hair
See his clothes
I'm sure you care
Terry ted
Is really sweet
Watch the way he keep the beat
Sweet as honey
He's a piece of cake
＞from the ginseng root
'n' stuff he take
Vitamin e
'n' all the b's
He's so cool he'll make you freeze
Make you freeze
Make you freeze
Excuse me please

Step aside
I'm gonna ride
I'm gonna strut
I'm gonna slide
Hey, ugly folks,
Go get some cyanide
An' die
Die die die die

A-ren-nen-nen-ah-ren-nen-nen
A-ren-nen-nen-uh-rennda
A-ren-nen-nen-ah-ren-nen-nen
A-rennda-rennda-rahhh
(etc. repeats)

Ugly is bad
And bad is wrong
And wrong is sinful
And sin leads to eternal damnation
An' hot burnin' fire
Hot burnin' fire
Hot burnin' fire
Hot burnin' fire
Screams of agony
Screams of agony
Screams of agony
Screams of agony
Arrrrrrrghhhhhhh!

One two three four

I'm so cute!
I'm so cute!
I'm so cute!
I'm so cute!
(etc. repeats)


14.Is This Guy Kidding Or What？


15.Lisa's Life Story


16.Lobster Girl


17.Lonely Person Devices


18.Lonesome Cowboy Nando

Frank zappa (lead guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Ike willis (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Mike keneally (rhythm guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, vocals)
Ed mann (vibes, marimba, electronic percussion)
Walt fowler (trumpet, flugel horn, synthesizer)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Paul carman (alto saxophone, soprano saxophone, baritone
saxophone)
Albert wing (tenor saxophone)
Kurt mcgettrick (baritone saxophone, bass saxophone, contrabass
clarinet)
Scott thunes (electric bass, mini-moog)
Chad wackerman (drums, electronic percussion)
Jimmy carl black (vocals)
Mark volman (vocals)
Howard kaylan (vocals)
Jim pons (bass, vocals)
Don preston (keyboards, electronics)
Ian underwood (keyboards, saxophone)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)

Frank：
My name is nando,
I'm a marine biologist.
All my friends,
They call me 'doh'.

Ike ＆ mike：
Hi, doh!

Frank：
All my family,
From someplace in this area,
And they complain if i talk about this horrible pizza
During the show.

All：
Come out here, to californy,
Just to find me some pretty girls.
Ones i seen gets me so horny,
Ruby lips, 'n teeth like pearls.

Wanna love 'em all, wanna love 'em dearly.
Wanna a jellyfish, i'll even pay.
I'll buy 'em furs, i'll buy 'em pizza,
I know they like me, here's what i'll say：

(1971：)

Jimmy carl black：
I'm lonesome cowboy burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Won'tcha smell my fringe-y shirt？
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress...

Mark ＆ howard：
He's lonesome cowboy burt. a-ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt.

Jimmy：
Come on in this place
An' i'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress？

Mark ＆ howard：
Burtram, burtram redneck!
Burtram, burtram redneck!

Jimmy：
I'm an awful nice guy.
Worked all day in the sun.
I'm a roofer by trade,
Quite a bundle i've made,
I'm a unionized roofin' old son-of-a-gun.

Mark ＆ howard：
He's a unionized roofin' old son of a gun!

(1988：)

Ike：
'darling, i crazy go nuts when i hear this,
You know what i'm sayin'？'

Frank：
When i get off, i get plastered.
I swim till i fall on the jellyfish.
Then i find me some academic kind of illustrator,
I describe the little dangling utensils on this thing,
And tell him to draw it up
So it looks just like a brand new jellyfish.

Ike ＆ mike：
(trying to follow along, they sing some gibberish)

Frank：
'take that! take that!'
I fuss an' i cuss and i keep on swimmin',
Till my snorkel puffs up an' turns red.
I drool on my shorts,
I do some water sports,
Then i take the jellyfish back to my house
And stick it in the bed! 'sorta...'

Ike ＆ mike：
'whaddya do？'
Stick it again in the bed!

Frank：
'that's right!

Ike ＆ mike：
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!
Stick it again in the bed!

(1971：)

Jimmy：
Lonesome cowboy burt.
Speakin' atcha!
Smell my fringe-y shirt.
Reekin' atcha!
My cowboy pants,
My cowboy dance,
My bold advance
On this here waitress!

Mark ＆ howard：
He's lonesome cowboy burt. yee-ha!
Don'tcha get his feelings hurt!

Jimmy：
Come on in this place,
An' i'll buy you a taste.
You can sit on my face.
Where's my waitress？

'opal, you hot little bitch!'


19.Magic Fingers

Mark volman (vocals)
Howard kaylan (vocals)
Ian underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
George duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin lickert (bass)
Ruth underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim pons (vocals)

Mark volman ＆ howard kaylan：
Ooh, the way you love me, lady,
I get so hard now i could die.
Ooh, the way you love me, sugar,
I get so hard now i could die.

Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size.
Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size.

Ooh, the way you squeeze me, baby,
Red balloons just pop behind my eyes.
Ooh, the way you squeeze me, girl,
Red balloons just pop behind my eyes.

Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size.
Open up your pocketbook,
Get another quarter out,
Drop it in the meter, mama
And try me on for size.

Mark volman：
Do you really wanna please me？

Howard kaylan：
Y'know i do ... baby.

Mark volman：
Well, tell me why you do it...
I really wanna know.

Howard kaylan：
Oh no no, i wouldn't be right
For me to tell ya tonight...

Mark volman：
You better tell me right away
Or i'll dress up and go.

Howard kaylan：
Don't get mad... it ain't no big thing.

Mark volman：
You better tell me right away,
Don't you treat me cold!

Howard kaylan：
Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it!

Well, there are a lot of reasons why i'd drag a girl such as
yourself back to this plastic hotel room ... and rip you off for
spare change to run a ...to run a vibrating machine attached to
this
N-size, bulk-purchase, kapok-infested,
do-not-remove-tag-under-penalty-of-law type bed and, and make
you take off all your little clothes ... until you are nearly
stark raving nude. ( save for y
Hrome-with-heavy- duty-leather-thong peace medallion) and make
you assume a series of marginally erotic poses involving a
plastic chair and an old guitar strap while i did a wee-wee in
your hair
And beat you with a pair of tennis shoes i got from jeff beck...


20.Make A Sex Noise


21.Ms. Pinky

Terry bozzio (drums, background vocals)
Davey moire (vocals)
Andre lewis (organ, vocals)
Roy estrada (bass, vocals)
Dave parlato (bass)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
Ruth underwood (synthesizer, marimba)
Donnie vliet (harmonica)
Louanne neil (harp)
Ruben ladron de guevara (background vocals)
Sharkie barker (background vocals)

I got a girl with a little rubber head
Rinse her out every night just before i go to bed
She never talked back like a lady might do
And she looks like she loves it every time i get through
And her name is p-i-n-k-y
P-i-n no lie
K-y me-oh-my
She's 69 - 95, give her a try
P-i-n-k-y
P-i-n i cry
K-y don't be shy
69 - 95 boy, give her a try

Her eyes 's all shut in an ecstasy face
You can cram it down her throat, people, any old place
Throw a little switch on her battery pack
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back

And her name is p-i-n-k-y
P-i-n i cry
K-y don't be shy
69 - 95 boy, give her a try

I got a girl with a little rubber head
Rinse her out every night just before i go to bed
She never talked back like a lady might do
And she looks like she loves it every time i get through

Her eyes 's all shut in an ecstasy face
You can cram it down her throat, people, any old place
Throw a little switch on her battery pack
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back
You can poot it, you can shoot it till your wife gets back


22.Muffin Man

muffin man

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Captain beefheart (harp, vocals)
George duke (keyboards, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (saxophone, vocals)
Bruce fowler (trombone)
Tom fowler (bass)
Denny walley (slide guitar, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums)

The muffin man is seated at the table in the laboratory of the
utility muffin
Research kitchen... reaching for an oversized chrome spoon he
gathers an
Intimate quantity of dried muffin remnants and brushing his
scapular aside
Procceds to dump these inside of his shirt...
He turns to us and speaks：

'some people like cupcakes better. i for one care less for
them!'

Arrogantly twisting the sterile canvas snoot of a fully charged
icing
Anointment utensil he poots forths a quarter-ounce green rosette
(oh ah yuk
Yuk... let's try that again...!) he poots forth a quarter-ounce
green rosette
Near the summit of a dense but radiant muffin of his own design.
Later he says：

'some people... some people like cupcakes exclusively, while
myself, i say
There is naught nor ought there be nothing so exalted on the
face of god's grey
Earth as that prince of foods... the muffin!'

Girl you thought he was a man
But he was a muffin
He hung around till you found
That he didn't know nuthin'

Girl you thought he was a man
But he only was a-puffin'
No cries is heard in the night
As a result of him stuffin'

Bruce fowler on trombone, napoleon murphy brock on tenor sax,
and lead vocals,
Terry bozzio on drums, tom fowler on bass, denny walley on
slide, george duke
On keyboards, captain beefheart on vocals, and soprano sax, and
madness. thank
You very much for coming to the concert tonight. hope you
enjoyed it. goodnight
Austin, texas, where ever you are.


23.Nyc Halloween Audience


24.Shove It Right In

Mark volman (vocals)
Howard kaylan (vocals)
Ian underwood (keyboards, woodwinds)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)
George duke (keyboards, trombone)
Martin lickert (bass)
Ruth underwood (orchestra drum set)
Jim pons (vocals)

Mark volman ＆ howard kaylan：
She chooses all the clothes
She'll wear tonight to dance in.
(she dances, she prances, she dances, she prances)
The places that she goes
Are filled with guys from groups,
Yeah-yeah-yeah
Waiting for a chance to break her pants in.

Provocative squats!
Gum me on m'lunga
Provocative squats!
Gum me on m'lunga
Provocative squats!
Gum me on m'lunga
Provocative squats!
Gum me on m'lunga

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah
Wah wah wah wah wah wah

Well at least there's sort of a choice there.
(twenty or thirty at times there have been )
Somewhat desirable boys there.
Dressed really spiffy with long hair.
Waiting for girls they can shove it right in.

Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah
Wah wah wah wah wah wah

Well at least there's sort of a choice there.
(twenty or thirty at times there have been )
Somewhat desirable boys there.
Dressed really spiffy with long hair.
Waiting for girls they can shove it right in.


25.Strictly Genteel


26.Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance

Frank zappa (guitar, piano, lead vocals)
Billy mundi (drums, vocals, yak)
Bunk gardner (woodwinds)
Roy estrada (electric bass, vocals)
Don preston (retired)
Jimmy carl black (drums, trumpet, vocals)
Ian underwood (piano, woodwinds)
Motorhead sherwood (soprano, baritone saxophone)
Suzy creamcheese (telephone)
Dick barber (snorks)

There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free...
To sing ＆ dance ＆ love

There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil...
That we can rise above

Who cares if hair is long or short
Or sprayed or partly grayed...
We know that hair ain't where it's at

(there will come a time when you won't
Even be ashamed if you are fat!)

Wah wah-wah wah

There will come a time when everybody
Who is lonely will be free...
To sing ＆ dance ＆ love (dance and love)

There will come a time when every evil
That we know will be an evil...
That we can rise above (rise above)

Who cares if you're so poor you can't afford
To buy a pair of mod a go-go stretch-elastic pants...
There will come a time when you can even
Take your clothes off when you dance


27.The Illinois Enema Bandit

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Eddie jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ruth underwood (percussion, synthesizer)
Don pardo (vocals)
David samuels (vibes)
Randy brecker (trumpet)
Mike brecker (tenor saxophone, flute)
Lou marini (alto saxophone, flute)
Ronnie cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet)
Tom malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo)
John bergamo (percussion over-dub)
Ed mann (percussion over-dub)
Louanne neil (osmotic harp over-dub)

And now folks it's time for don pardo to deliver our special
illinois enema bandit-type announcement take it away, don

'this is a true story
About a famous criminal
From right around chicago
This is the story of michael kenyon
A man who's serving time at this very moment
For the crime of armed robbery

It so happened, that at the time of the robbery
Michael, decided to give his female victims
A little enema
Apparently, there was no law against that
But his name lives on
Michael kenyon
The illinois enema bandit!'

The illinois enema bandit
I heard he's on the loose
I heard he's on the loose
Lord, the pitiful screams
Of all them college-educated women...
Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up
(they'd be all bound down!)
Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
The illinois enema bandit juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice

He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag
Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice

The illinois enema bandit
I heard it on the news
I heard it on the news
Bloomington illinois...he has caused some alarm
Just sneakin' around there
From farm to farm
Got a rubberized bag
And a hose on his arm
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump
Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
That he just might wanna pump

The illinois enema bandit
One day he'll have to pay
One day he'll have to pay
The police will say, 'you're under arrest!'
And the judge would have him for a special guest
The d.a. will order a secret test
And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
And the judge would say, 'no poo-poo jokes!'
Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
Sayin' 'don't nobody have no sympathy...
Hot soap water in the first degree!'
And then the bandit might say, 'why is everybody looking' at
me？'

Well did you cause this misery？
Well did you cause this kinda misery？
Well did you cause this misery？
Now, one girl shout： 'let the bandit be!'

Bandit are you guilty？
Bandit are you guilty？ tell me now, what's
Your plea？
Another girl shout： 'let the fiend go free!'
Are you guilty？ bandit, did you do these deeds？
The bandit say, 'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
'it must be just what they all needs...'
Etc. repeat

Wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna enema
Enema
Repeat...


28.The M.o.i. Anti-smut Loyalty Oath

Frank zappa (guitar, vocals)
Mark volman (vocals)
Howard kaylan (vocals)
Jeff simmons (bass)
George duke (keyboards)
Ian underwood (keyboards, alto saxophone)
Aynsley dunbar (drums)

'i _(you just fill in the blank)_, do hereby solemnly swear, in
accordance with the regulations of the contract with this here
rock and roll engagement. and the imbecilic laws of the state
Orida, and the respective regulations perpetrated by red-necks
everywhere! do hereby solemnly swear!, under no circumstances,
to reveal my tube, wad, dingus, wee-wee, and or penis anyplace
on th
Age!! this does not include private showings in the motel room,
however.'


29.The Madison Panty-sniffing Festival


30.The Poodle Lecture


31.Thirteen


32.Tracy Is A Snob


33.Tryin' To Grow A Chin

Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Adrian belew (rhythm guitar, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards, vocals)
Peter wolf (keyboards)
Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals)
Terry bozzio (drums, vocals)
Ed mann (percussion, vocals)
Napoleon murphy brock (background vocals)
Andre lewis (background vocals)
Randy thornton (background vocals)
Davey moire (background vocals)

Hey! i'm only fourteen
Sickly 'n' thin
Tried all of my life
Just to grow me a chin
It popped out once
But my dad pushed it in
Why did he hurt me？
He's my next of kin...
He's a mex-i-kin

I'm lonely 'n' green
Too small for my shirt
If simmons was here
I could feature my hurt
Scared of the future
Hope i don't grow
I know nobody likes me
'cause everywhere i go
They say no
They say no
They say no

Now i'm older
Got a place in the town, babe
Got a chin on my shoulder
'n' it keeps growing down 'n' down 'n' down
I'm horny 'n' lonely
'n' i wish i was dead
Why am i livin'？
I wanna be dead instead
That's right, i said
I wanna be dead instead
Now dig this：

I wanna be dead
In bed
Please kill me
'cause that would thrill me
I wanna be dead
In bed
Please kill me
'cause that would thrill me
(etc, repeat)


34.We're Turning Again

Frank zappa (guitar, synclavier)
Steve vai (guitar)
Johnny 'guitar' watson (guitar, vocals)
Ike willis (guitar, vocals)
Ray white (guitar, vocals)
Bobby martin (keyboards, vocals)
Tommy mars (keyboards)
Scott thunes (bass)
Chad wackerman (drums)
Ed mann (percussion)

Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again
Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again

They took a whole bunch of acid
So they could see where it's at
(it's over there, over there,
Over there, over there
And underneath also)
They lived on a whole bunch of nothing
They thought they looked very good
They'd never ever worry
They were always in a hurry
To convince themselves that what they were
Was really very groovy
Yes, they believed in all the papers
And the magazines that defined their folklore
They could never laugh
At who or what they thought they were
Or even what they thought
They sorta oughta be
They were totally empty
(totally empty)
And their lives were really useless
So what the fuck？
They didn't have no sense of humor
Now they got nothing left
To laugh about
Including themselves

Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again
Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again

They were mellow
They were yellow
They were wearing smelly blankets
They looked like donovan fans
They walkin' 'round
With stupid flowers
In they hair and everywhere
They tried to stuff 'em up the guns
Of all the cops
And other servants of the law
Who tried to push 'em around
And later moved 'em down
But they were full of all that shit
That they believed in
So what the fuck？
(what the fuck？)
Now i've seen 'em tightenin' up they headbands
On the weekend
And they get loaded
When they came to town
They walked around in greenwich village
To buy posters they could hang up
In them smelly little secret
Black light bedrooms
On long island
Singin'： 'jimi come back!'
Now come back and regulate the boy's fuzz-tone
Your haze was so purple
It caused your axis to be bold as love
Now jimi (feed back) gimme some feedback
Come back and feed back on my knapsack
You can feed back the fuzz tone from your wah-wah
While you bend down
And set your stuff on fire

Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again
Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again

We can turn it around
We can do it again
We can go back in time
Through the canyons of your mind
On the eve of destruction
We can act like we are
Something really special
You just jump in the bath-tub
With that other guy jim
And make him be more careful
We can visit big mama
And wrap her on the back
When she eats her sandwich
(la la la la)
We can take care of janis
When she gets so depressed
She can't take it no more
We can laugh at keith moon's jokes
(ha ha ha ha ha)
And the colour tv
(ha ha)
He threw out the windum
From the second floor
Everybody come back
No one can do it like you used to
If you listen to the radio
And what they play today
You can tell right away：
All those assholes really need you!
Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again
Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again

Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again
Turn and turn
Turn and turn
We're turning again


35.White Person


36.Wind Up Working In A Gas Station